Life (Back) in the Midwest

For those wondering, I finally did get the gas turned on and thus have been taking normal showers for about two weeks now.  Although I did have to wait another week after the original no-show by them.  Pricks.  You never realize how much you take hot water for granted until the gas company fucks you and you're stuck heating up water on a heating plate.  Now the worst part about my shower?  The hot water only lasts like 20 minutes.  Which blows. 
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I've been in Cleveland for about a month now so I feel like I am qualified to bitch about things that were better in Austin:

I already mentioned the state of the roads so I won't go in depth again.  But the crazy thing is that the city fills in the pot holes pretty regularly.  Meaning that I will drive into work having to dodge craters, then drive home and see the same potholes filled with new asphalt.  And the next day, most of that asphalt is usually on the street surrounding the crater because cars continue to run it over and ruin the filljob.  (Filljob might not be a word, but it totally could be).  Thus the vicious cycle continues. 

I have a terrible feeling that Austin may have ruined my appetite.  For a full year, I gorged on amazing Mexican food, the finest BBQ meats, and gourmet meals.  Well, at least the first two.  Now that I live only hours from the Canadian border as opposed to the Mexican border, I just can't get my fill.  I have been to the store a few times and haven't even been able to find ground turkey to make tacos.  The tortillas are in the dairy coolers as opposed to being made fresh in the store.  They only sell mild and medium salsa.  It drives me fucking crazy.  I was never one for hot stuff.  And now that I grow accustomed to the hot shit, I can't find it?  Life really is unfair sometimes. 

I used to have a dresser drawer filled with nothing but shorts.  Basketball, plaid, cargo, cammo (not that anyone could tell), etc.  That same exact drawer is now filled with sweatshirts and sweatpants.  Now I am in no way discrediting sweatpants/sweatshirts.  Some of my finest articles of clothing start with the prefix sweat. 

I mean, I knew what I was getting myself back into, I just wasn't prepared for it all so quickly. 
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Good deed of the day: just saw a commercial for Burger King.  They are offering buy one, get on free chicken sandwiches.  Limited time offer so go stock up.  And don't say I never did anything for you. 
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There is a local furniture store in Cleveland called Norton Furniture.  They have locations in and around the city.  The greatest thing about these stores is the commercials.  They always star the owner Marc Brown who has, literally, the creepiest, raspiest voice in the country.  The commercials are basically handmade videos with awful acting, terrible lighting, and of course they star Marc.  I offer you the following commersh with no additional commentary.  Youtube has plenty more, if you are so inclined:

Pretty badass that Google owns both Blogger and Youtube so I can just upload any Youtube video.  May have to take care of that more often. 
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Going to the Cavs-Heat game on Friday night.  Can't wait to get bombed and yell things at Lebron from the cheap seats.  Definitely going to be worth the $50 tickets.  Going to a minor league hockey game on Saturday night.  Can't wait to get bombed and yell things at the guy sitting next to me.  Hope he takes a puck to the dome.  Definitely going to be worth the $7 tickets.
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I'll end with two pictures.

The same day I bought my hot plate from Walmart, I also saw this item.  Sadly, I don't remember what it was anymore as this was taken more than a month ago.  Again, presented without further commentary:

Wouldn't want to sleep next to that thing. 

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And lastly, my nephew Paddy:

Kind of want to know what he's looking at. 

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Please come back now.  (Texan accent has given way to that Midwestern kindness)